I Am the Clay

I recently wrote my first book called, Going Through Hell: And How to Make it To the Other Side. Throughout the process, I had a lot of memories to recall as I wrote the stories I was planning to publish. I have seen so many people walking through the same fires lately that I really wanted to share some of my fire experiences, what I learned in them, and how God brought me through them. 

I was sitting at my computer looking at my screen and my mind just remembering and wandering through some of the memories when I started to feel so crushed. See, in the middle of yet another round of processing, I am still be molded, modeled, added to, excess removed, and put in the fire. To be honest, I don’t ever want to stop being in the hands of the Potter, God, as He is making me who He wants me to be. However, it doesn’t make it easier to endure the process.

I love a good analogy, so digging deeper into the pottery analogy, I started to read about grog and clay. I found out that a dried pot, that has never been fired, can be ground up and water added to reconstitute clay. It can then be recast and made into something new. However, when the pot has been fired in the furnace (kiln), it changes chemically. The intense heat hardens the clay turning it into pottery or tiles into bricks.

There are many methods that are used to repair pottery. One Japanese tradition is to fill in the cracks with a lacquer and then paint the seams with gold or silver powder making the pottery even more attractive. There is another method that takes the broken pottery, that I would assume is unrepairable due to smaller pieces and grinds it to a powder. Since the pot has been chemically changed, it cannot be turned back into clay. But potters still use it. It is called grog. Grog can actually be made of a few different materials that have been ground up. It is then set aside until it is needed. When the potter is ready, they will take the grog and mix it with fresh clay. The grog, which is solid, will then combine with the fresh, new clay, which is porous and makes it stronger.

I stood back and let this whole story sink in. Here’s what the Holy Spirit said to me.

“Many of us have gone through molding, shaping, glazing and firing. We have been through being displayed, used to hold many things and were beautiful to see. Then, in life and living in a world that is imperfect and full of sin, we go through a fall. When we are dropped, the fall can break us and sometimes God chooses to repair us for a beautiful piece of art to be displayed. He fills us with His treasures, and we become perfectly imperfect. There are others that have been broken so severely that God decides to use them for something bigger. It feels like hell but then we are given new clay. The remnants of the past pottery makes the new pottery even stronger than before. It can even be shaped into something completely different.”

Then He reminded me that He isn’t done with me yet. I am still in process. I may go through multiple castings, shaping, firing, breaking, grinding, adding new clay, being reshaped, glazed, fired, and so on. When we completely surrender to the potter, we will use us for what is needed in that season for those specific purposes. We may have started out as a mug holding only a small amount of liquid but then, God uses the brokenness as an opportunity to make us into something completely different. However, the clay never looks at the potter and tells Him what He should make. The clay doesn’t know what is needed to be useful. The potter may need a plate or a bowl, but the clay doesn’t look at Him and say, “No, I want to be a vase and decorate the house by holding flowers.”

I have made the choice, again, in the middle of another process, that I will still surrender to God, the potter. I won’t let my pride render me useless but instead I will listen to the Holy Spirit when He shows me my errors and gives me the strength to remain humble and usable for God.

Will you?